God, I am so stupid

I often reflect at the end of the day on all of the things I could have done or said differently. Everytime, I reach the same conclusion...that I am an idiot. I truly do not intend to be an idiot, but I just am. And I can't figure out why. If I had a nickel for every thought I had regarding my idiotic tendencies, I would probably have a couple hundred dollars right now. However, after many years of reflection, a part of me thinks that there is something greater going on than me just wrecking everything I touch. I am beginning to think that I will never reach a state of goodness.
This realization may be completely obvious to most of you reading this post. But think about it. We all in some way are reaching for some degree of perfection. If you don't believe me, drive to a local bookstore or gas station and notice all of the magazines that are portraying (or distorting) "true" beauty, intelligence, and spirituality. Then, think about the subtle influence these articles have had on your life. Our world is being innendated with the "5 ways to magnificent abs" or "10 ways to lose 10 pounds." Could this be what is distorting our reality of truth and beauty? Could this be why boys and girls, men and women, and male and female, alike are all susceptible to pressure and perfection? Could this be why everytime I lie down to bed at night I think about what I could have done better or said differently to reach complete goodness?
I don't know. I don't know what the answer is. However, I do know that there is a different direction - a different perspective. In all of the good, bad, and ugly that is taking place around me and within me, I find stability that in Jesus Christ, I find life. Jesus does not give any standards for how I should look or dress. He simply says come to me, and I will give you life fully, completely, wholly, eternally, qualitatively, and absolutely! I don't need to worry about this world anymore! Praise God because this world is so broken. And as I lie down at night, I don't need to think about how much of a screw up I am because I know God is holding me. God, I am so stupid, but thank you that Your grace gives me life and a reason to sleep peacefully.